Ah, the party weekend is drawing to a close, and truth be known, there was a whole lot more reading and relaxing and puttering and cooking going on at our house this weekend than partying. :-) The mood was reflective but festive, though, and I will go to bed tonight recharged and ready to get back to work.Yesterday I was reading a year-old copy of Body+Soul magazine (which is why I didn't renew my magazine subscriptions this year---I decided I would take 2010 to read all the issues I never got to read last year!), and there was an article on words to eliminate from regular use. The one that got me was "should", which the author expanded to include "have to". It was "have to" that especially hit a nerve with me. Because I use those two little words a lot, too much. So much that I can almost feel my muscles tense as "[I] have to..." leave my mouth. These words introduce a sentence that states almost always the opposite of what I WANT to do (for example, "I have to work/make an appointment/pay bills/clean the bathroom...). Furthermore, "have to" particularly makes it seem as though the "I" has no choice in the matter. And the implication of "should" is of a martyr, sacrificing what she wants to do for what she SHOULD do.
The result, although perhaps subtle, is a whole pile of blech. Since I am all about purging as much blech from my life in 2010, I am following the article's author advice and replacing as the overused "shoulds" and "have tos" with the more positive "am ready", as in "I am ready to get started on this new project" and "I am ready to pay the bills now so that I have time this evening to watch a DVD with the family." As one who used to make the annual mile-long list of new year's resolution, I found a few years ago that the most effective changes I made in my life were not the grand gestures but rather the understated, barely noticeable---initially---ones that grew exponentially as the months passed.
So as the holiday season winds down and life resumes a more regular rhythm, I am ready to face the new year and see where the journey takes us next. First, though, I think there's time for one more mug of hot chocolate, with whipped cream of course. :-D
Photo is from Mummer's Parade, Philadelphia, PA, January 1, 2008.
